5 Signs You Are Afraid Of Being In A Relationship
Here are 5 signs you’re afraid of love.
I am going to name six of the most common signs, signs that will tell you that you’re afraid of being in love, you’re afraid of being in a relationship with someone other than yourself, and I’m also going to help you get rid of those fears and move on with your life in a healthy way. Let’s begin.
5. You haven’t made peace with your past
One of the most basic reasons why people are scared to be in a relationship is because they’re still haunted by certain events of their past, events that hurt them in such traumatic ways that it’s very hard for them to come back to how they once used to be. Even the slightest or tiniest trigger can tick you off and bring you back into that state of fear and depression, as long as you let it have that power over you, and it’s not going to heal, not unless you do something about it.
The fix here is to make peace with your past. I’ve been there, I’ve had a phase in my life where I went back and forth and I hated it. But I slowly helped myself get out of that phase, the memories, the hurt, the pain, the loss, everything bad that happened to me in the past was a cruel reminder in the present and was making me unable to have a happy future.
So I fixed it, by making friends with my past, by accepting my mistakes, by making amends, by apologizing to the people who I’d hurt in any way, by having proper closure with all of my past demons. That’s something you need to do if you want to move on with your life and be with someone who will love you more than you can ever imagine.
4. You don’t think you can trust again
They say trust is the hardest thing to make and the easiest thing to break, they’re right. It could take years to build the perfect trust between two people and it can take mere seconds to break that trust into a million pieces. The fear here is to get hurt again, to get your trust broken again after working on it for so long. But only you can help yourself here, no one else can do anything for you no matter how much love and care they have for you, you’ll still be in your insecure and scared state until you finally decide to come out of it on your own.
The key here is to NEVER rely on someone else to help you regain your trust back, do it yourself.
The fix here is to understand that whatever happened with you in your past was because of someone else, no two individuals are the same in this world and there are a LOT of individuals, so the chances of your trust being broken again are very tiny. You need to take the risk, you need to tell yourself that you WILL let this new person get their fair chance, their own chance to prove that there are still good people in this world, people who care just as much as you do or maybe more.
3. You think you’ll be trapped
Another common fear is when people think they’ll be trapped the second they commit to someone. This fear is developed because of a lot of reasons, be it past experience or the experience of others. When you see a friend of yours dating someone, and they keep telling you how much they hate it, how much they miss the single life, how much they wish they were alone right now, these are the common triggers that scare you off from committing yourself to someone who truly deserves to be with you.
The fix here is to remember that a relationship is NOT about being trapped, it’s not about control, it’s not about molding someone into what you want them to be, relationships are about enhancement, relationships are a blessing. Don’t be with someone who tries to change you, don’t be with someone who tries to impose a lot of ideas and rules over your life, be with the person who loves you for whoever you are and keeps on enhancing that person in you.
2. You’re scared of breaking up
A lot of people don’t get into relationships because they’ve seen too many people breaking up and they can sense the pain those people felt when they went through the break ups. Of course, break ups hurt, they hurt for a long period of time, but it doesn’t mean they’re “mandatory” for every relationship. People break up when they don’t want to work on each other anymore, because real relationships require constant work and constant effort, something people don’t realize from the start and they hate it when they find out later on.
The fix here is to not be scared of breaking up with the person you love, the fix here is to remove the term “breaking up” from your vocab. I love my girlfriend, and no matter how much we fight or differentiate, we always tell each other that we’ll work it out, and we always do. That’s what relationships are all about, to never give up on the person you love because if you truly love them, you’ll love them enough to put every effort you have on them regardless.
1. You’re afraid of sharing your time with someone
Most people run away from relationships because they think they are too time consuming and they’ll divide all the time you have into pieces, it’s not like that. Relationships are about two people sharing a life together, the time spent together becomes time shared and it enhances it in every way. It’s a common misconception today that once you get involved with someone, you’re going to have to give all of your time to them, that’s not how relationships work and that’s something you need to stop being scared of.
The fix here is to remember that you’re not the only person who’s going to share their time with someone, someone else is going to share their time with you in return. Relationships are all about give and take, regardless of the ratio. No one is busy in this world, it’s all about priorities and time is the best gift you can give someone. And if they love you enough to give their time to you, you should happily do the same to them.
See also: An Elderly Man Sent This Letter To His Loved Ones. This Is So Accurate.
I grew up with practical, common sense, parents. A mother who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it. She was the original recycle queen before they had a name for it. A father who was happier getting old shoes ﬁxed than buying new ones.
Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and dish-towel in the other. It was the time for ﬁxing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress, the repair of the car .Things we keep.
It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, eating, renewing. I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant afﬂuence. Throwing things away meant you knew there’d always be more.
But then my mother and dad died, and on that clear summer’s day, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t any more.
Sometimes, what or who we care about most, gets all used up and goes away…never to return.. So… While we have it….. it’s best we love it…. And care for it.. And ﬁx it when it’s broken And heal it when it’s sick.
This is true.- For marriage And old cars….. And children with bad report cards…. And dogs with bad hips…. And aging parents And grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep; like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.
There are just some things that make life really important, like children and people we know who are special, even though sometimes we act as though they don’t exist but they do….they do. And so, we must and should always keep them close!
I’ve sent this to the people I think of as keepers… Now it’s your turn to send this to those people that are “keepers” in your life. Family and good friends are like stars….
You don’t always see them, you don’t always agree with them, but you know they are always there….until they’re not!I! So while there is still time, let us all remember to keep these special people close!
See also: He Thought His Wife Would Complete His Life But She Didn’t. What He Says Next Is Golden Advice For People In Love.
That she is not, nor will she ever be, that one piece that makes my life complete.
I spent my entire young life feeling worthless and like I was lacking something. I jumped from relationship to relationship hoping to find the person that could love me perfectly and make my life complete. For a while I thought my wife would be that person, and then for a while I thought she could change to become that person.
But she won’t. And she can’t. She is flawed just like every other person. She has her own needs and issues. She loves me the best that she can, and she works hard at it, just like I have to work hard to love her the best that I can.
But she cannot be everything to make my life complete. I need friends and family that love me. I need things in my life to work toward. I need challenges and goals, successes and failures. Most importantly I am having to learn how to see myself as important and valuable.
I love my wife, and I know that she loves me, but placing the expectation on her to make my life complete is unfair and has caused a lot of heartache in our relationship. The more I learn to love myself, and the more I focus on loving her just for who she is, the stronger our relationship grows.
Love is hard work, even when you marry the right person.
See also: Husband Wants To Know Why His Wife Is So Tired Every Evening, So He Spied On Her For One Day
This is a short movie from Japan which brings the awareness and answers, to the following question: “Who carries a heavier load? Women or men?”
The belief often is the man. Naturally, when it really comes down to it, the hard worker, the heavy lifting and long day working hours is all on the male. But then again, is it really? Let’s take a closer look.
The street people of Tokyo were surveyed on the subject here of who literally carries the heavier load. Out of 100 men and women, it was revealed that women carried loads of 7.2kg, which was two times heavy as loads carried by men on a regular weekday. Also, 18% of women interviewed carried loads of over 15kg! also.
In this short film we have a day in the life of a young mom in Tokyo, along with her husband and son. The husband secretly watches from a van his wife’s day to day routine and is blown away.
Why A Man Should Never Complain
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
“Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.”
God, in His infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Then ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad,breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back!”
The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied: “My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.”
You’ll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.”