5 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Respect You
One of the key elements of a healthy relationship is respect, however at the beginning it is difficult to see whether your partner truly respects you. Even though it is often obvious that you are being disrespected, it is sometimes hard to see the signs particularly because everyone has a different definition about respect.
Respect is something that can’t be measured which is why little research has been done regarding this topic. However, psychologists have been able to create a definition about respect which includes the following:
- Not being abusive or judgmental
- Being considerate
Most of the subjects in the study had the same concept about respect and they agreed that the following 5 things are a definite sign that your partner is being disrespectful.
1. He/she tells you what is wrong with you
Majority of people are aware of their own flaws which is why there is no need of constantly pointing them out. Some find it very difficult to accept themselves with all their flaws so being reminded about them is not very helpful. If your partner does this to you it is a clear sign that he/she is disrespectful. Talk openly about how this makes you feel and let them know you are aware that you are not perfect.
2. He/she doesn’t listen to you
Respect can also be shown through the ability to listen carefully to what your partner is telling you. The communication breaks down if one of the people in the conversation keeps interrupting the other or seems distant. Besides listening, responding is also a very important part of a healthy conversation because it shows you are fully present in the moment.
3. He/she always does things his/her way
Being in a healthy relationship means having the same and equal rights. No one should always be right or have things their way. One of the keys to a respectful relationship is being able to compromise.
If you partner insists on having full control over your relationship it means he/she does not respect you enough to value your opinions and needs. Talk about what bothers you and try to point out that you are not going to accept that kind of behavior.
4. He/she disrespects your friends and family
Let’s face it, your partner will never love your friends and family as much as you do. However, this does not mean that he/she should treat them without respect. If you get married in the future this could become even a bigger issue.
Having a good relationship with your partner’s friends and family is very important if you want to spend the rest of your life with that person.
5. He/she is constantly unkind
Harming other people especially if it is intentional, is a red flag that your partner is being disrespectful. Attacking someone whether it is physically or verbally shows how little your partner cares about you or other people’s feelings. He/she should know that everyone is responsible for their own words and actions and he needs to know the consequences of that kind of behavior.
7 Signs Your Partner Respects You
A person who only shows love but no respect is only interested in reaping the benefits of a relationship but not actually working towards making their partner happy as well. A truly caring partner will respect and recognize you as a human being that’s not dependent on them. If you’re having doubts or second thoughts, here are seven signs that your partner respects you.
1. You can always rely on them
If you partner does not appreciate your time and makes you wait for them for hours, or if they don’t respond to your texts at all, they are not that devoted to your relationship. A respectful partner will value your time and your plans and will never ignore your calls because talking to you is not something they don’t like doing.
2. Your achievements make them proud
A respectful partner knows all your goals and will help you achieve them even by supporting you mentally. And after you achieve your goals they will be just as happy as you are and they might even share your achievements with their friends. This is a clear sign that your partner cares about your goals and development as a person.
3. They aren’t overbearing
If your partner is not a control freak that tries to get involved in anything you do, it is a good sign that they trust you and respect you. It means they are confident you will not step the boundaries you have set together as a couple and that they respect your freedom and independence. If they go out with your friends from time to time it is perfectly fine. But if they start controlling your actions and who you should hang out with, it is a major red flag.
4. They are aware that no means no
A partner who respects you will never do things you don’t like and will even try hard to avoid them as much as they can. For example, if you don’t like being tickled your partner will not tickle you. Or, if there is a certain thing you are not comfortable with when being intimate, they will never force you to do something. If your partner makes sure that you are 100% comfortable with what they are doing and if they never put pressure on you, it means they respect you as a person and all the choices you make for your body.
5. They listen when you speak
While having a conversation with the person you love it is extremely important that they make sure you know they are paying attention. If they don’t acknowledge what you are saying it means they don’t respect you enough. And if your partner is committed to your relationship they will reply accordingly and will never act like they can’t wait for you to stop talking.
6. They are honest
A good partner does not hide anything including bad news just because they might make you sad. They will be open and they will tell you because they respect your decision making abilities. This shows that your partner knows they can be confident in your relationship even when sharing unpleasant information. They will never lie to you. Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist said: “What honesty gives you is a great deal of comfort. Knowing you can implicitly trust your mate allows you to be your best self, and your relationship will continue to thrive because you are able to give each other the positive energy you need to navigate life’s ups and downs.”
7. They fight fair
Fights are an inevitable part of every relationship no matter how successful it is. This is perfectly normal because you can’t expect to get along with your partner all the time. According to Jennifer Kromberg, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist: “Some degree of fighting in a relationship is not only inevitable, but also necessary to create growth. The problem for couples is not that they fight—it’s how they fight.”
This means that even when you fight you must never stop respecting your partner. Having fights does not mean you should hurt each other with bad words, instead use them as a way to resolve your issues and make your relationship even stronger.
One of the best feelings in the world is knowing that your partner loves and respects you at the same time. Respect is often much harder to earn compared to love and it is sometimes even more important. A relationship without respect will get consumed by the egos and it is doomed from the beginning.
Peter Gray, Ph.D, a research professor and author said: “To respect is to understand that the other person is not you, not an extension of you, not a reflection of you, not your toy, not your pet, not your product. In a relationship of respect, your task is to understand the other person as a unique individual and learn how to mesh your needs with his or hers and help that person achieve what he or she wants to achieve.”
If you have even the slightest doubt that your partner might not respect you the way you deserve it, you might be better off without them. However, just like love, respect is also reciprocal. You should not expect something you are not providing. Try to improve your relationship by working on yourself first and this way you could even make your partner a better person.