An Open Letter To A Toxic Relationship
Knowing when to stay and when to walk away.
Let’s get one thing straight, the length of a relationship won’t compensate for its worth, that will never happen.
Remember that you should only stay with a person when there is trust, love, respect, and forgiveness.
Remember that you shouldn’t stay with someone just because of the work you have invested in the relationship or the time both of you spent together.
Staying in such a relationship can destroy who you are as an individual, and also your inner peace. Therefore it is not worth it.
Probably you have reached that goal were you are hurting, or you are indifferent, and you don’t feel anything. Maybe you are in that state where you have surrendered everything as if there is no other thing to give or say.
You feel pain just by picking up a million pieces of your broken heart. Maybe you have been hiding all of the tears, or perhaps your eyes are so used to crying that you are unable to shed a tear now.
Perhaps you’ve been afraid to start all over, and it is entirely reasonable to fear of a fresh new start.
Yes, it might be hard to get up and leave, it will be at the beginning, but it will be so liberating at the same time.
You will feel as you can breathe again. A fresh start will seem incredible to you. You will have the time to find out where you want to be in life and so much more.
The truth is that we are all guilty of trying to save a relationship not realizing it is toxic for us. We try to convince ourselves that it will all be worth it. But what happens?
We end up losing ourselves.
Find the courage deep in yourself to leave when you are no longer appreciated. One day all the love you have been giving will come back and find you.
When you fall apart, you might feel as everything went wrong and as the world won’t understand how is to go through such thing. But you should remember not to cry.
Everyone is in some sort of pain, yes, it may come in different sizes and shapes, but all people are in pain. Everyone just learns how to deal with it and combats it on a daily basis.
Now stand up, leave and fight for yourself and not for someone that has put you in this situation. And never, under any circumstances, lose hope of finding true love. He is out there looking for you.
You cannot meet him if you stay in this toxic relationship. You will lose the right one, by trying so hard with the wrong one.
How will the one be different? Well, he will choose you over everything. He will always have time for you; he will make you feel good about yourself. You will become a better person thanks to him.
In him, you will find a best friend with whom you can laugh about silly things, a companion with whom you can sing all the songs in the car while traveling, a lover with whom you can feel alive.
With this person, everything will feel easy and natural. He will cheer you up in times when you will be in pain and feel lonely, and with this person, you will never be alone.
He will find you, understand your worth and never let you go. He will never put himself into the position to lose you. You want this, right?
You can have it, all you need to do is leave the toxic relationship, take time to grow and find happiness within yourself. After a while, when you are ready, true love will come along. And you will be so grateful, happy and loved.
And there is no greater feeling and mission in life than to love and be loved. With the right one, you will understand that life is all about love.
See also: To Every Girl Who Has Ever Lost Herself To A Toxic Man
Some days I wonder if I will ever fully be myself again, and unfortunately, those days seem to be happening more than I would like to admit. Yes, relationships take a lot of work but relationships are supposed to be fun. When you are with the right person, relationships are simple. Nobody deserves to be in a relationship that they are afraid of their partner, yet that is more and more common these days. I am ashamed to admit that I stayed in a relationship that I was fearful of the man I was with.
All it took was one day, one day where I had enough courage to walk away. Walking away was the best decision I have ever made, I had let someone take so much from me, and if I didn’t have the courage to walk away I don’t know where I would be today.
I dated someone who made me lose my self-worth.
I lost my smile that once lit up any room I walked into because he couldn’t stand to see me happy. My smile was a bother to him. Once he charmed me into falling for his act he knew he had me hooked and he knew he could manipulate me. He knew he had me wrapped around his finger and he knew I wouldn’t leave. Because of him, I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore because he made me feel lower than I ever knew was possible.
I dated someone who made me lose my self-confidence
Because of him, I lost my self-confidence and care-free attitude. I was the girl that ‘didn’t deserve to be told compliments because I didn’t need them.’ Because of him, I felt worthless.
I dated someone I thought I knew.
I spent so much time convincing myself that he was going to go back to the man I had first met that I was completely oblivious to the fact that it was impossible. I so badly wanted to believe that it was all just a phase, but it wasn’t.
I dated someone who I didn’t even know who he was.
The man I first met wasn’t him; it was who he wanted to be perceived as. He turned out to be nothing but a liar and a cheater. I constantly made excuses for him and disregarded his wrongs. I wanted him to so badly be the man he pretended to be that I was blind. And because of this, I made our relationship picture perfect on Instagram. I thought if I made it look perfect then it would be perfect. Because of him, I lied to everyone that asked me how we were. I lied because I thought if I lied about it enough it would be the truth. I deliberately chose to ignore all the signs because all I wanted to do was see the best in him.
I dated someone who made me question everyone.
Because of him, I realized that maybe some people just don’t have any good. Because of him, I stopped being the person who saw the best in everyone. The person who gave everyone the benefit of the doubt.
I dated someone who was incapable of loving anyone but themselves.
I thought if I just brushed everything aside and loved him with everything in me that it would make him love me back. It took forever to understand but I now understand that it is impossible to make someone love you who only knows how to love themselves. Because of him, I felt alone while being physically next to him. I was dating a man who refused to kiss me and refused to look at me. Because of him, he made me feel unworthy. No matter how many times I had a huge smile on my face and was excited to see him, I was never worth looking at. I was dating someone who intentionally put me down so he could have the power. It was like it was a game to him; the worse he could make me feel, the better it made him feel.
I dated someone who I let manipulate me.
Every time he bailed on me or ignored my calls he somehow made me feel as if I deserved it. He made me feel as if I didn’t deserve to be spoken to. Every time I questioned him cheating, he somehow turned it around to me. It was my fault he hid things because ‘if I trusted him, he wouldn’t have to hide it.’ It was my fault he messaged girls on social media because, ‘if I trusted him, it shouldn’t matter who he talked to’. He manipulated me into believing I was the crazy one.
I was dating someone who was jealous of me.
Because of him, I stopped greeting everyone with a smile who I made eye contact with because he was jealous so many people knew me. Because of him, he made me feel guilty for being friendly. Because of him, ‘I was a whore’ for knowing so many people of the opposite gender. Because of him, I convinced myself I must really be a whore if he says I am a whore. Because of him, I stopped being my bubbly self in order to try to make him love me. Because of him, I thought if I made myself less of a person he would stop making me feel guilty for being me. Because of him, every time someone complimented me on something I didn’t want it to be true. Because of him, I wanted to be less of a person than I am.
I dated someone who had to put others down to build himself up.
He was the guy who was always in a relationship. He was and still is the guy who jumps immediately into a new relationship because he can’t survive without manipulating someone. He is the guy who jumped into a new relationship 4 days after we had broken up. I truly feel sorry for the girl he is with (and the girls after her) because he will continue making girls feel the way he made me feel. He will never be happy with himself and the only way he knows how to try to fill the void within him is by putting others down.
I dated someone who made me stronger.
Because I left him, I feel even more empowered than ever. Because I left him, I remember what it’s like to be the girl who is always smiling but I remember the person who took that away. Because I left him, I got my corky sense of humor back. Because I left him I have met so many people that admire me for who I am and don’t knock me down for it. And never again will I tolerate someone who does. Because I left him, I know what it feels like to be truly loved.
Because it was in leaving him I learned to love myself again.
See also: This Old Man Lost His Wife In The Hospital. His Description Of His Wife Left This Man Stunned.
So l had really touching experience this morning. l was standing post at work and noticed that there was an older man walking around with a worried look on his face. I asked him what was wrong. He said that he had lost his wife and he was terriﬁed of not ﬁnding her.
So I told him that I’d help him look for her. I said, “what does she look like?” He looked right at me and with the most serious face imaginable, he said, “I can only tell you this, she is the most beautiful woman in the whole hospital!” It was so refreshing to see how he loved her. And after a few moments we found her sitting at the waiting lounge. He was right, she was a beautiful woman. It was cute how worried he was that he had lost her. And when he did ﬁnd her he looked at me and said, “isn’t she beautiful?”
And before I could answer, she popped up and said, “he just had eye cataracts so he can’t even see me!” Lol! They were so in love and it really warmed my heart to see it, cause it was obvious that after 60 + years they still were infatuated with one another. That sorta set the tone for the day. In a world where commitment is tossed aside, it’s refreshing to see those who make it work. Hope this brightens someone’s day!
See also: The Four Wives Of A Dying Husband: An Inspirational Story
There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.
He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He’s very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.
He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and infect is the merchant’s confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.
Now, the merchant’s 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.
One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, “Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I’ll be alone. How lonely I’ll be
Thus, he asked the 4th wife, “I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?” “No way!” replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word. The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant’s heart.
The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, “I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?” “No!” Replied the 3rd wife.”Life is so good over here! I’m going to remarry when you die!” The merchant’s heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, “I always turned to you for help and you’ve always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?” “I’m sorry, I can’t help you out this time!” replied the 2nd wife. “At the very most, I can only send you to your grave.” The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.
Then a voice called out: “I’ll leave with you. I’ll follow you no matter where you go.” The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, “I should have taken much better care of you while I could have!”
‘Every man and woman has four wives or husbands. What do these wives signify?’
THE FOURTH WIFE
The 4th ‘wife’ is our body. We love our body day and night. In the morning, we wash our face, put on clothing and shoes. We give food to our body. We take care of our body like the fourth wife in this story. But unfortunately, at the end of our life, the body, the first ‘wife’ cannot follow us to the next world. As it is stated in a commentary, ‘When the last breath leaves our body, the healthy color of the face is transformed, and we lose the appearance of radiant life. Our loved ones may gather around and lament, but to no avail. When such an event occurs, the body is sent into an open field and cremated, leaving only the white ashes.’ This is the destination of our body.
THE THIRD WIFE
Our 3rd wife? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
THE SECOND WIFE
The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we’re alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
THE FIRST WIFE
The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL BORN IN 1930’s, 1940’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and Early 80’s
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL BORN IN 1930’s, 1940’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and Early 80’s !!! First, you survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a tin, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, your baby cots were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. You had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when you rode your bikes, you had no helmets, not to mention, the risks you took hitchhiking .. As children, you would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a van – loose – was always great fun. You drank water from the garden hosepipe and NOT from a bottle. You shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. You ate cakes, white bread and real butter and drank pop with sugar in it, but you weren’t overweight because…… YOU WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
You would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach you all day. And you were OK. You would spend hours building your go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out you forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, you learned to solve the problem . You did not have Play stations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no text messaging, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms……….YOU HAD FRIENDS and you went outside and found them!
You fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents you played with worms (well most boys did) and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. You made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although you were told it would happen, you did not poke out any eyes. You rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them! Local teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing you out if you broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. You had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and you learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! And YOU are one of them!
CONGRATULATIONS! What do you think of this e-mail I received? Any truth in it? You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.