These 10 Mistakes Will Slowly Ruin Your Relationship
Statistically speaking, the percentage of divorce and breakups is higher than the percentage of successful and happy relationships. Nowadays, marriages have lost their credibility and the younger generations tend to stay away from complicated procedures due to possible disagreements in opinion and way of life.
FOR THAT PURPOSE, LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT THE 10 MOST COMMON MISTAKES THAT CAN RUIN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Expecting from your partner to change because of you – one thing’s for sure-no one’s perfect, and when you expect from your partner to change according to your desires, this can cause problems. Namely, even if the other person promises to change because of love, this doesn’t mean that it would be like you’ve imagined it to. There is a great possibility of other problems which can negatively affect your relationship. Therefore, always accept your partner the way he/she is, unless this is some serious bad habit.
2. Always having to win an argument – people fight a lot in order to prove their points. This is nothing more than the ego trying to dominate. However, it’s far better to present your point of view and come up with a solution to solve the problem. When you don’t do this, you just worsen the issue because it remains unsolved.
3. Allowing a third person to interfere – this is one of the most common mistakes that couples do is allowing a third person to interfere in their relationship, whether this person is some of the partners’ family members or friends. You can never know with certainty that this person is mature enough to solve your problem. Sometimes, they can even make it worse. Only you and your partner should deal with your relationship problems.
4. Neglecting the emotional and physical needs of the partner – it’s important to understand that when you start neglecting the needs of your partner, he/she won’t also feel the need to satisfy your needs, and they will probably look for someone else to fulfill them. This can easily destroy your relationship.
5. Holding grudges – holding grudges and focusing on trivial things can worsen your relationship. When you start to quarrel, just let the moment pass, as holding a grudge has never done any good to anyone.
6. Disrespecting differences – there are no two same persons in the whole world and differences are a part of human nature. So, it’s crucial to respect the differences between you and your partner in order to keep your relationship healthy.
7. Not accepting fault – many couples tend to allow their egos overrule and they oppose to accepting fault. However, there’s nothing wrong in saying “sorry”. Learn to accept when you’re in the wrong and offer your sincerest apology, even when the fault isn’t really yours. Never allow the ego to overrule your love. If your partner really loves you, they will also learn to accept their fault.
8. Lack of communication – communication is pivotal for a successful relationship. Hence, when you don’t speak to each other, you’re giving advantage to silence and your relationship will suffer.
9. Differences in opinion – it is important to respect your partner’s opinion. For example, if you want to create a family as soon as possible, and if your partner needs more time to prepare for such big responsibility, you should talk about that and make wise consensus from the both sides. Listen to your partner and talk about all possible options and decide what is best for both of you.
10. You don’t dedicate time to yourselves – your relationship should be your priority and it requires from you to dedicate time to each other. If you want it to grow, you should contribute to your relationship daily.
Source: greatquotes4u.com, http://interesting-facts.info
10 Dangerous Phrases That Can Ultimately Destroy Your Relationship
In the beginning of a relationship we are all sweet and as behaved as a kid meeting the president at a school function but as we get comfortable, we stop thinking about our words before blurting them out and are conveniently saying whatever comes in our mouth.
Apologizing for saying hurtful things works but there are certain things they might never forget even if the forgive. These are the ten possible phrases that can badly damage your relationship that you need to be careful about.
1. “It’s OK” versus “I accept your apology”
So many people tell others that “it’s fine” or “it’s OK” when really it’s not. If someone apologizes and you aren’t ready to get over what happened, or really are hurt by what they have done, then don’t say “it’s OK” just for the sake of saying it. Saying, “I accept your apology” tells that person that you’re thankful that they understand what they did wrong, without telling them “it’s OK” as if they can just go ahead and do it again.
2. “Why didn’t you quit your job sooner if you hated it so much?” versus “It sounds like you were going through hell”
A simple expression of sympathy or empathy is all someone really needs when they are ranting or venting about a hard time they went through. Questioning their hard time can make it less easy for a person move on with the issue as well.
3. “We all face hardships at some point; be thankful you don’t have it worse” versus “I’m so sorry this happened to you”
While the world does come with a large scale of hardships on many different levels, it is rare that one person can experience them all. The fact that people are dying in a Third World country doesn’t mean that someone shouldn’t be allowed to feel frustrated over losing their expensive laptop. The body naturally will produce those emotions, and therefore it’s not something to guilt them over.
4. “You already said that” versus “It sounds like this is important to you”
Most of the time, if a person is repeating themselves, they are either really excited about something or simply can’t remember having said it before and it is truly an important thing for them to mention and/or say. They aren’t saying it to be annoying, and telling them they already said it won’t undo the fact that they’ve done so. Empathize with them and feel for their excitement or urgency.
5. “Do what you want” versus “Let’s decide what to do together”
A lot of people like to take the passive-aggressive standpoint when they get into fights. It’s understandable to jump to a natural response, but it’s important to keep in mind that it may not always be the most beneficial answer. Passive-aggressiveness can confuse a person, make them feel indirectly offended (or directly) and disconnected from you. The resolution to this would be making a compromise and deciding together, which builds positivity in your relationship.
6. “You never help me” versus “I can’t manage without you”
Most of these scenarios involve unnecessary blame, and this one is a great example of that. Even if someone doesn’t help you, try and get that message across with a more positive tone. “I can’t manage without you” says that you want to work on building teamwork and a good partnership, instead of separating yourselves by accusing another person and pushing them further away than was originally intended.
7. “You did that on purpose” versus “I know it was an accident”
If someone slips and drops your favorite coffee mug from the cupboard and you get upset and blame them, they will jump to the defensive stance because they will feel like you are attacking them. It’s OK to be upset, but try not to spread the negativity to others who don’t deserve it. Instead, put the energy from your frustrations into empathy and understand that your friend would never purposely try and hurt you — and if they did, then they probably aren’t your friend after all.
8. “I told you that would happen” versus “Next time let’s try something else”
Putting someone at fault for not predicting the future is a bit ridiculous when you think about it, and it also can guilt someone into thinking they’ve messed up on something that can’t even be fixed at this point. Focus on moving forward instead of into the past, and avoid producing those unnecessary negative feelings of guilt that can easily cause a rift.
9. “If you don’t go on a diet, you’ll never lose weight” versus “Losing weight is tough, but I know you can do it!”
This one is simple: be positive and motivational as often as you can! Sometimes one perspective of logic isn’t enough to push someone to do something, especially if it includes pessimistic and negative connotations such as “you’ll never lose weight.” Be enthusiastic, positive and encouraging, and you will push your friend from a place of love instead of a place of frustration or negative thinking.
10. “You need to get more exercise” versus “Would you like to go on a walk with me?”
The first statement here is an accusatory one and can easily make a person jump to the defensive because they’re feeling attacked. Asking them to walk with you instead not only solves your concern that they’re not being healthy enough, but it can also help you bond together, and it sets yourself as a role model!