Old Man Confesses His Last Wishes To His Family. But His Wife’s Reply Is Priceless.
This old geezer was on his deathbed and was dictating his will to his wife and children. You’ll never actually guess what he owned, though.
Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him. He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:
My son, “Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses.”
My daughter “Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end.”
My son, “Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre.”
“Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river.”
The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, “Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property”.
Sarah replies, “Property ?…. the old bugger had a newspaper route!”
See more: Woman Responds To This Shocking Letter Left By Her Husband. And It’s Perfect.
A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table:
‘To My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you, and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don’t be upset – I shall be back home before midnight.’
When the man came home late that night he found the following letter on the dining room table:
‘To My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you’re at the Comfort Inn, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, he is 18 years old.
As a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference…. 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.’
See more: This Woman Thought This Creepy Stranger Was Following Her. But She Naver Expected This.
Yesterday after working a grueling shift at the old internet mines (I’m a network engineer). I got on the bus to go home just like always. Ahead of me in line is a young woman who is looking very pretty, she has red hair and a nice polka – dot blouse. I don’t think much of it, but we end up sitting across from each other on the bus. I’m reading something on my phone but get the urge to look up and see her face. I had only seen the back of her head before. I glance up and to my delight, she is very pretty! Horray! l have seen one more pretty girl in the world than I did before.
Except mid – glance she looks up at me. I realize I’m probably slack – jawed and not really paying attention. I look down. I don’t really know why, I don’t have a problem talking to girls. I have a long time girlfriend and I don’t talk to very many women these days.
I’m feeling a bit sheepish and awkward, sol glance up again for some reason. A second after I do – she looks up at me and catches me starring at her, or at least she thinks I’m starring at her. She screws up her face a little bit. I’m not even that ugly, oh well.Twice in a row I’ve been caught slipping.
None of this matters because the mid – way stop at the park – and – ride is coming up, and usually everyone gets off the bus here. She stands up as the bus stops and | breath in relief. I also stand up in search of a more comfortable seat (The bench seats that face each – other kind of suck). So I’m waiting for people to clear out, and people are getting off the bus. But on today of all days MUCH more people are getting on the bus, much more than usually. Must be a football game tonight or something.
She isn’t getting off the bus. She sits by the window in a regular seat. I look around – all of the other seats are being ﬁlled quickly. I walk to the back of the bus, nothing. I look around, there is nothing.The universe’s cruel game of musical chairs is playing “Creep” by Radiohead. I sit down next to her. She looks at me like a deer in the headlights and I think she is actually afraid.
Flash forward 10 minutes and I’ve moved seats as we are the only two people left on the bus. She is looking over at me regularly, probably making sure I’m not furiously masturbating or something.
Last stop. My stop. Her stop. Our stop.
We get off the bus, she goes ﬁrst and stars walking in my house’s direction. We slowly walk together, for a few blocks, she keeps checking over her shoulder. She ﬁnally turns down a side—street and I think maybe I can relax now. I turn down my street. I breath a sigh of relief, ﬁnally the coast is clear and I don’t feel like I’m stalking anyone.
Then she appears, she clearly took a fake—turn to get away from me, and I met up with her on my road.
She starts running up the steps to MY building and I’m freaking the fuck out like what is happening, am I actually stalking this girl? I keep walking towards my building, I just want to go home.
She turns and yells at me from the stairs “Stop fucking following me fucking creep”
This is how I met my new neighbor.
See also: 15 Years Old Boy Come Home With A Porsche. When His Parents Asked How, He Said This.
Two parents were speechless when their 17 year old son came home with a shiny new Porsche one day.
The car was a real beauty, but the parents were understandably in disbelief and started to yell at their son:”Where did you get that car?!”
Calm and collected, their son answered:”I bought it.”
“How?!,” his parents yelled.”We know how much a Porsche costs!”
“Well,” said the boy. “This car only cost me $15.”
The dad became even more angry: “Who’s the idiot that sold you a Porsche for $15?”
The boy looked at him calmly and answered: “I bought it from a woman up the street,” the boy said, and continued: “I don’t know what her name is, but when she saw me cycling home from school she stopped me and asked if wanted to buy this Porsche for $15.”
“Oh my gosh!” the mom gasped. “She must be some kind of child abuser. Who knows what she’s planning? Jonny, go down there and ﬁnd out what this is all about.”
The boys dad went up the street to ﬁnd out what was going on.
When he reached the house, he found the woman outside in the yard, calmly planting some ﬂowers.
The dad marched up to her and yelled: “Why did you sell a Porsche to my son for $15!?”
The woman took off her gardening gloves and explained. “This morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was away on business, but I found out he’s run away to Hawaii with his secretary. Apparently he’s not planning on coming back. He said that he was stuck there and needed me to sell his Porsche and send the money… So that’s exactly what I did.”
See more: Who is Happy? The Peacock and The Crow
Who is happy is a short story about comparison we do with others and become unnecessarily unhappy. A crow lived in the forest and was absolutely satisfied and happy in his life. But one day he saw a swan. To his amazement, he told to him that this swan was so white and he himself was so black. Now crow changed his perception and thought this swan must be happiest bird in the world.
He expressed his thoughts to the swan. The swan replied, “Actually, I had the same feeling that I was the most beautiful and happiest bird until I saw a parrot, that has two colors. Now my perception has changed and now I think that parrot is the happiest bird in the world.”
The crow then approached the parrot. The parrot explained, “I lived a happy and content life until I saw a peacock. You know, I have only two colors, but the peacock has multiple colors. It looks so beautiful”
The crow then inquired about peacock. Someone told him that he could find peacock in the zoo. Crow then visited the zoo. He saw that hundreds of people had gathered to see it. When the people had left, the crow approached the peacock and asked him “Dear peacock, you are so beautiful. Every day thousands of people come to see you. When people see me, they immediately shoo me away. I think you are the happiest bird on the planet.”
The peacock replied, I always had the same feeling that I was the most beautiful and happiest bird on the planet. But because of my beauty, I am entrapped in this zoo. I have examined the zoo very carefully, and realized that the crow is the only bird that is not kept in a cage. So after being entrapped in this cage, I have been thinking that crow is the most happiest bird. I wish if I were a crow, I could happily roam everywhere.
What does this story tells us. We are also entrapped in this type of thinking. We always compare with others and think that everyone is happy. Everyone else around us has everything needed to be happy and we feel pity on our self.
We make unnecessary comparison with others and become sad. We don’t value what Nature and God has given to us. This all leads to the vicious cycle of unhappiness.
Every person is different and he or she is under different circumstances. When you see that someone is very successful in his life. We only see his success and do not realize hard work being put to reach those milestones.
Discard the comparison which leads only to unhappiness, live life beautifully.
If you want to achieve something, then be in healthy competition. Get inspired, but don’t make it as a reason for your unhappiness.