15 Body Language Secrets That Mean He’s So Into You
Your relationship will be so much easier if you learn how to recognize all those signs that his body is sending you.
Like women, men don’t always say exactly what they’re feeling precisely when they feel it. But guys don’t have to say much to show you what they’re thinking.
It’s hard to tell how a guy feels based on his words. Men just aren’t as naturally verbal and expressive as most women are. When a guy likes you, he won’t necessarily come right out and say it. Maybe he’s shy, maybe he’s insecure, maybe he’s afraid of rejection, and so on. While he can hold back from saying the words, he won’t be able to control his body language, because a lot of the body language signs that mean he likes you are unconscious behaviors. Some are even reflexes and reactions that we can’t control even if we try.
Body language doesn’t lie and is the number one way to tell how someone feels about you.
Read on for body language signs that mean he is definitely into you.
1. He gazes into your eyes
The eyes are the windows to the soul. No wonder we feel a zing right through our hearts every time our special person looks us in the eyes. But there are a few nuances here that could make all the difference in the world.
Number one: does he hold your gaze for longer than a few seconds? As in, longer than you would hold the gaze of your grocery bagger? If yes, you can add one point to your scoreboard. It’s a definite sign that he sees you as someone more than just a passing curiosity.
Gazing into your eyes is his way of saying, “I don’t know if you like me too, but one day I would love to know all the secrets hidden behind those beautiful eyes.”
Number two: are his eyes relaxed and soft around the edges? If yes, you can add another point. In fact, you get bonus points if he has a mischievous twinkle in his eyes or has his eyebrows slightly raised in a cute way. Believe me, it’s a big sign that he’s interested in you because it’s a sign that he’s comfortable in your presence and thinks highly of you.
Number three: does he smile? Even the hint of a smile on his lips is good if he is an introverted individual.
Just watch out for hard eyes that seem to bore into yours. They are a sign of aggression and typically exhibited by someone who doesn’t think kindly of you.
2. He smiles a lot when he’s around you
Quick! Think of the one person who you love with all your heart. Did your face just split into a wide smile as you remembered them? Mine did (I was thinking of my sister).
It’s a basic human reflex; when we spend time with someone who puts us at ease and who we genuinely are very fond of, we can’t help feeling happy and smiley around them!
The same happens to your guy.
So if he smiles as soon as he spots you in a crowd or sees you coming towards him, then continues to flash you a grin for as long as you stick around to talk to him, he’s definitely into you. In fact, if you watch closely (and if he happens to be a fair-skinned guy), you might even see his face flush gently or the pulse in his neck quicken while he’s smiling because his heart is beating a million miles a minute.
But watch out for fake smiles! The way to spot a real one is by the crinkles that form around the eyes. So if he is only flashing his pearly whites, but his eyes seem to be more way, hard luck. He probably is not that into you.
3. His body is pointed towards you
Ever wonder if you’re boring your dream guy with talk about the latest Sephora promotion? While it’s pretty much guaranteed that you are, here’s a sure way to find out: When a man points his body towards you, he is giving off a signal that his attention is all yours. Angling your feet, shoulders and waist towards someone is a subconscious reaction that happens when you’re focusing on them. This means that if your man-to-be’s body is continually facing your way, he is unintentionally indicating to you, but more importantly those around you, that he is invested in your interaction and isn’t interested in any interruptions!
4. He finds excuses to touch or hug you
This one’s a no-brainer — we all do it when we are seriously interested in someone. Don’t tell me you haven’t found excuses to high-five your guy or haven’t fantasized about the day when you can finally feel his arms wrap around you as you melt into his soft embrace.
The only difference is that guys tend to be bolder when it comes to finding excuses to touch the girl they are seriously into.
So if your main man likes tapping you on your shoulders playfully or tickle your stomach or pulls you into half hugs as you walk down the street, then yes, he’s definitely into you. And bonus points if he has brushed your hair behind your ears or wiped off that stray cookie crumb stuck to your cheek. Because, girl, if he has done the latter, you really need to stop reading this list right now and find a way to get him to confess his feelings (unless you are bold enough to do it first!).
On second thought, don’t stop reading yet. You are good to go only if your man shows at least 10 to 15 signs mentioned on this list. Anything less is a sign he hasn’t made up his mind yet.
5. He stares at you… especially when you are not looking
Well, there are two ways of knowing this: either your friends have noticed it, or you have found him staring at you whenever you have looked his way. And the former has a bigger edge over the latter. Let me explain why…
If you are the only one who has caught him looking your way and none of your friends have picked up on it, it’s probably because he knows you are looking at him and is checking if you are still staring. So it’s not necessarily a sign of attraction, it’s exactly what you would do if you happened to be sitting at the airport and suddenly realized a creepy dude was staring at you. You would keep glancing his way to check if he has stopped staring, right? So maybe, try and be a bit more discreet, cool, and collected.
That’s why this body language sign (on his part) can be considered a valid sign of attraction only if your friends or other acquaintances have told you he has been looking your way from across the room while you were oblivious or turned away from him. It’s because he’s is hoping to catch your eye sooner or later so he can smile and wave hello.
6. His palm touches yours when you hold hands
Has your main man ever held your hand? Yes? Then let us take a moment to remember how that felt. Warm as butter and just as comforting, wasn’t it? Almost as if that singular action changed a certain dynamic between the two of you. Brought the two of you closer.
Or did it? Because if his palm wasn’t snuggly resting against yours, he probably isn’t as interested in you as you are in him. So here are a few pointers when it comes to decoding the language of the hands when it comes to attraction.
First of all, when you are in the presence of someone you like, your hands tend to be become warmer and softer because of more blood circulation. (Your heart’s beating extra hard, after all.) And the opposite is true when you are not comfortable and don’t want to interact with someone. Your hands become cold and rigid.
So if his hands were warm, you already have a good foot in the door.
The second thing is about personal space. Our palms are one of the most sensitive and personal spaces of our body. Just stroke the center of your palm a few times and you will see. That’s why if he holds your hand in such a way that his palm rests against yours, his body is essentially telling you that he doesn’t mind you in his personal space and would like to get closer to you. So it’s a definite win!
7. He Doesn’t Check His Phone When He’s With You
Phones might not have been around for too many years, but they have already changed the entire landscape of how we communicate with each other and interact with the world. In fact, according to a meta-research, the average person in the west spends around 4 hours a day on their smartphone. And that’s not even the scariest fact about our obsession with our phones.
That’s why if someone willingly sets his phone aside when he is interacting with you, it’s a big sign that he wants to connect with you and is interested in dating you.
It’s got everything to do with chemicals in his brain. Here’s how.
Research has proven that the chemicals produced by our brain when we fall in love, like dopamine and phenylethylamine, give us a natural ‘high’ when we are in the presence of the one we love and feel a crushing sense of despair and can’t stop thinking about them when they are not around.
No phone can hold a candle to this surge of “love”.
So if he doesn’t check his phone when you are together and cancels almost all calls that come through, he is definitely into you.
Plus, it’s a mark of respect because he is showing you through his actions that he thinks you are the most important person in the world to him.
8. His pupils dilate
There are a few caveats with this body language, so don’t put too much emphasis on this one as compared to the other signs on this list. Here are the reasons why.
First of all, our pupils naturally dilate when we are in darkness and constrict when we are out in the sunlight or in bright light. The former allows our eyes to take in more light so we can still see clearly in the dark, while the latter protects our retina from getting damaged by too harsh rays of light. So if you observe that his pupils are dilated but happen to be in a relatively dim room or lighting condition (like late evening), then it’s not a sign of attraction but basic biology.
Nevertheless, our pupils do dilate when we see something we really like, especially if it’s someone we have a huge crush on. It’s because we are hardwired to want to take in more of what we like looking at.
So if the two of you meet and you suddenly observe his pupils expand and grow bigger, then you definitely are onto something here.
(But you need this to be accompanied by the other signs of attraction, like smiling or enthusiasm or mirroring, to be sure of his interest in you.)
Unfortunately, if he has dark brown or black eyes, observing this sign will be next to impossible. So only look for this if you are interested in someone with paler eye color.
9. He behaves protectively
Gender studies scholars might say that most men and women behave a certain way more because of social conditioning than because of inherent traits in their physiology. But that does not change the fact that we are still living in a world where most men like to take on the role of the protector and the provider while most women like to be the nurturer and the receiver.
So until we get a more gender-neutral main generation (which might happen by the end of this century), this body language sign still holds true about a man’s interest in you.
That means, if he always makes sure he’s between you and the traffic as you walk down the road and immediately gets rid of the cockroach (or lizard) that scared the living daylights out of you, he’s definitely into you and does not want any harm to come to you.
Trust me, this is a big sign. In fact, you may not observe a lot of the other signs in him if he happens to be a more reserved and mature man, but you will always see his protective side displayed in full if he is truly interested in you as a romantic partner.
10. He maintains a strong posture around you
Slouching when we walk immediately tells the world that we lack confidence. And lack of confidence is one of the most unattractive things on this planet. You might be the most amazing human being to interact with when someone gets to know you, but if your posture isn’t proper, you will fail to attract most people. And we human beings know this secret on a cellular level (if not the conscious level), which is why we always straighten up whenever we see the one we have a massive crush on.
It’s the same for him.
In fact, if he is really interested in you, don’t be surprised if he pushes his shoulders back slightly and stands taller while he is in your presence because it means he wants to appear strong before you and be the biggest male in the room.
Another powerful body language move men tend to pull off in the presence of the women they are super attracted to is manspreading. That is, when they lounge on a chair before you, they tend to spread their legs wide apart and drape their arms over the chair arms almost casually. This classic move projects an image of masculinity, power, and ease, making him seem like the alpha among all men. So watch out for this one too!
11. He gives you his hand at important moments
If a guy gives you his hand at key moments, he’s demonstrating that he cares for you and is invested in your well-being. By tenderly extending his help to you he’s attempting to let you know that he’s ready and willing to take care of you. He’s also cashing in on the situation as yet another excuse for personal contact. Men look out for those they care for, so if he goes out of his way to make sure that you’re comfortable, he’s revealing that he cares for you- a sure sign that he’s interested!
12. His face is animated when he talks to you
This body language sign is exhibited by all human beings when we are seriously interested in someone. It ties in with our need to stand out from the competition, flash the spotlight on ourselves, and make sure the one we have set our sight on goes home with a lasting impression of us in their mind.
So don’t be surprised if you see him pulling odd faces when he is in your presence.
It’s a big sign that he’s interested in you because loud and animated expressions always make people laugh, and men love it when they can make the woman they are interested in laugh (or guffaw) in sheer delight.
It boosts their confidence and makes them like you even more. Wouldn’t you like someone too if they genuinely found you a fun person to be around?
But this animated behavior is not just restricted to his facial expressions. He will even speak in an animated manner when he’s into you. Especially when he is retelling a story from his life or something interesting that happened that very day. In fact, he might even jump from one story to another in quick succession just because he wants you to know everything there is to know about him!
13. He leans into you
Has your man done this? If yes, don’t jump up and yell hurray yet. There are nuances to this body language sign that can make all the difference in the world.
We all mark a certain amount of space around us as our personal space. And while the size of it can enlarge (if you are alone in a room) or shrink (if you are packed in a small elevator with five stranger), in general, we become defensive when a stranger or someone we are not close to enters this space. That’s why we tend to be so rigid in elevators. We just can’t help but brush up against strangers then.
Just as we are territorial of our personal spaces, we also tend to respect the personal spaces of others we are not close to — but that changes once we fall for someone.
So if your main man often leans into your personal space by sidling up behind you and peeping at the book you are reading over your shoulder or leans in when you are speaking, then it’s a sign that he is interested in you and wanted to get closer to you.
If instead, when he leans in, he crosses his arms and only edges his head closer to you or keeps his body as far back as possible while leaning his head in, he isn’t interested in you that way and is only leaning in probably because he can’t hear you clearly.
14. He matches your pace when you walk
This is probably the easiest way to gauge if the man you have a crush on is really interested in you or not. Let me explain why.
Have you ever found yourself trapped in a short walk from point A to point B with someone (maybe an obnoxious acquaintance or a stranger) who just wouldn’t take a hint and go away? If you have, you would do either of two things to get away from them. You would have either slowed your pace so they shot ahead of you or picked up your pace so they are left behind. We don’t do it consciously but it’s obvious to everyone who is around us (and also the person we are trying to outstrip…if only they would take the hint!).
So if you have ever walked side-by-side with the guy you have a crush on and have noticed him doing the same – walking a few steps ahead of you or slowing down and lagging behind again and again even after you try matching his pace – then he probably isn’t interested in you.
But if he slows down or speeds up to match your pace, then it’s a big sign he’s into you. Bonus points if you notice that your steps become synchronized after a while as if you are in a marching band. Then he’s not only interested but also mirroring you unconsciously.
15. He stretches out the goodbyes
This one’s the most obvious sign of someone’s genuine interest in you. After all, we all tend to hang around for “just a while longer” when we are seriously crushing on someone.
When we are in love with someone (or are seriously attracted), our brain releases a set of neurochemicals that generate pleasant feelings around this person, like dopamine, the culprit in all addictions (not just love), oxytocin, the hormone responsible for generating attachment, and phenylethylamine (PEA), the hormone that causes infatuation and lets up stay awake till the wee hours of the morning just because we are talking to the one we love on the phone. And these hormones are seriously addictive in nature, especially dopamine.
That’s why when we are in love we often behave like drug addicts with the same kind of intense highs when we are hanging out with the one we love to intense crashes and cravings when we haven’t seen them for some time. This is the main reason why we all stretch out our goodbye when we are seriously crushing on someone. We don’t want the good times to end! And it’s no different for men.
So if the guy you are into tends to turn back around and drop a few more funny lines after he has said goodbye or gives you a prolonged hug, he’s definitely is into you. In fact, if you observe this sign and 10 more on this list, you should now go and find out how to get him to confess first!